Of Silk Brocade Dresses and Roguish Pirates
by kazfuego
Summary: so far: the crew mistakes a certain elizabeth parker for elizabeth turner, aboard the black pearl, flirting with the captain and along comes a stowaway! more to come. 3rd and 4th chap up!
1. It's Johnny Depp, he's not

A Pirate's Life For Me  
  
Disclaimer: This bitch does not own POTC or Johnny Depp. Or even Orlando Bloom for this matter. I know, it's sad.   
  
******  
  
Chapter One  
  
"YO, HO! YO, HO!" I sung at the top of my lungs, taking yet another swig of my rum. "A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME…"  
  
"Oh, god." Julia Zaccuri (a.k.a. Jules) said, shaking her head. "Elizabeth, I think you're drunk."  
  
"Me? *hic* Drunk?!" I demanded, filling in my mug with even more rum. "No, way!"  
  
"Oh, yes you are!" Jules insisted, dragging me off the wooden stool that I was sitting on. "Now let's get outta here before your mom or anyone else finds out."  
  
" I *hic* think that *hic* Johnny Depp's *hic* red *hic* bandana makes me *hic* want to *hic* drink *hic* more rum *hic* on *hic* that island *hic* with him *hic* with *hic* a red bandana *hic* too!"  
  
Jules gave me a skeptical look as if I had been jabbering nonsense all the while.  
  
"Aye, Cap'n I-"  
  
I didn't have the chance to finish my sentence because in about two seconds flat, I passed out, drunk.  
  
***  
  
What the-  
  
It took a while before I realized that I was wearing one of those silk brocade dresses that they wore in the 1700s. God, no wonder it suddenly seemed so hard to breathe.  
  
Judging by the looks of the over-looking pier, which was guarded by a few men in uniform, I figured that I could really be in the 1700s!  
  
Could it be possible that I was in Port Royal itself?! OMG. This is getting insanely weird.  
  
*WHAM! *  
  
"Oh, shit!" I cussed as someone whacked into me really hard. I swear I could've broken a hipbone if it wasn't for this stupid panier that I'm wearing.  
  
"Me deepest apologies, love. Didn't see ye comin' and all."  
  
All I could do was gape at his roguish yet charming man in dreadlocks. It was no doubt that he was indeed, the great Johnny Depp himself! Oh, happy day! I wish Jules were here. Or maybe not.  
  
"You're Johnny Depp!! I so cannot believe that I'm actually seeing you in the flesh!"  
  
He frowned and looked at me at an odd angle. "Name's Cap'n Jack Sparrow, love. Not Depp."  
  
"Oh, right." How could I forget? I mean after all, I was in the 1700s, face to face with the real Jack Sparrow. Not just someone who's trying to be one. "Jack Sparrow,"  
  
"It's CAP'N Jack Sparrow, love."  
  
"Oh, right. I'll try and remember that."  
  
He squinted suspiciously at me. "By the way, ye look awfully familiar, lass. Have I met ye before?"  
  
"Not that I know of,"  
  
"Oh,"  
  
"I-"  
  
"Hey! Stop right there, mate." A pudgy Royal Navy officer called out as he came towards us in his stately uniform, accompanied by a lanky officer.  
  
Jack turned to face the officers. "What seems te be the problem, mate?"  
  
The lanky one crossed his arms across his chest and said, "You've forgotten to-"  
  
"The hell!" The pudgy one cried out, pointing his chubby index finger at Jack. "You're-you're that pirate!"  
  
"'Course, I am." Jack said as if offended.  
  
"Oh, yeah. I remember him now," The lanky one said thoughtfully. "He's Jackie Sprouts! You know, the one who tried to commandeer the Dauntless but to no avail, failed."  
  
"It's Jack Swallow, you idiot."  
  
"Jackie Sprouts!"  
  
"Jack Swallow!"  
  
Jack leaned forward and muttered under his breath, "Let's get outta 'ere before these two gets to plan on doin' anything stupid."  
  
We inched away slowly while the two continued on their idle chatter:  
  
"It's Jack. Not Jackie, you idiot."  
  
"Oh, yeah? How'd you know?"  
  
"Oh, I get it! It's-"  
  
"JACK SPARROW!" The two cried out in unison.  
  
***  
  
"H-Have we lost them?" I asked, gasping for air. Jack and I have been running around in circles, trying to outrun the two officers who had been chasing us around Port Royal after they found out about Jack's outré pursuits of pillage, pilferage and plunder.  
  
"I don't think so," Jack answered as the officers turned around the corner.  
  
"Let's go hide in there!" I suggested as I took sight of a forgery shop named J. Brown nearby. The door was unlocked so we quickly went inside and latched the door shut.  
  
As soon as I was able to regain my composure, I burst-out laughing like a pack of hyenas. Jack eyed me for a second then burst-out laughing too.  
  
"T-That was so fun!" I said in-between giggles.  
  
"Ye mean, runnin' 'round in circles was fun?"  
  
I nodded, smiling.  
  
What he didn't know was that there was a big difference between running around with him, and running around without him. I've never felt so good my entire life!  
  
"It's just-"  
  
"Who the hell are you?!" A voice suddenly demanded out of nowhere.  
  
***  
  
So, so far, whaddya think? Was it good enough or not? R&R please! More fun in the upcoming chaps, I promise! 


	2. Break Away!

Chapter Two  
  
The voice came into light and out came-  
  
Orlando Bloom!  
  
OMG. This is getting really, really good. I wonder if I should start asking for their autographs while I'm still at it. But then, I shan't forget that they are after all, the real thing. Not just some guys who are trying to be one.  
  
But then, how many times in your life do you actually get to meet real live (and cute) pirates and those kinds of stuff?   
  
Probably nil. So I guess I'm still lucky.  
  
Well, in a way.  
  
"What the-" Orlando started, seemingly taken aback by the sight of Jack and I. "Why, Miss Swann! What brings you here?"  
  
"I-"  
  
"He's- He's that pirate!" Orlando cried out, pointing yet another finger at Jack.  
  
Jack rolled his eyes as if to say, "Well, duh. Isn't it obvious?"  
  
But of course, he didn't. That'd be very unpirate-y of him.  
  
I was about to say something when all of a sudden, someone pounded on the door really hard, that I wouldn't be surprised if it broke down any second now. "BY ORDER OF THE KING, I COMMAND YOU TO OPEN THIS DOOR AT ONCE!"  
  
Shit.  
  
"Let's get outta 'ere, love."  
  
Jack took me by the hand and was about to make a dash for it when Orlando took him by the neckband. "She's not going anywhere with you, you hear?"  
  
"OPEN UP THIS DOOR!"  
  
"Easy on the effects, mate." Jack said, loosening Orlando's grip.  
  
And with that, we made a break away for the back door, my hand still in his.  
  
"Miss Swann!" Orlando called out, running after us.  
  
"Where are we going?" I asked as we veered around the corner.  
  
"Ye'll see," Jack said, giving me that sexy smile of his.  
  
I couldn't help but smile back.  
  
That was when I realized that we were once again back from where we started: the pier.  
  
"Now what?" I asked as we to an abrupt stop.  
  
"Miss Swann!" Orlando called out once more.  
  
"Who ye be, mate?" Jack wanted to know as Orlando caught up with us.  
  
"I'm Will. Will Turner. What's Elizabeth doing with you?"  
  
"I'm not-"  
  
I was about to protest that I was so not Elizabeth Swann when that pudgy Royal Navy officer cried, "GO, GET THEM!"  
  
"Cap'n, come aboard the Black Pearl!" Anamaria called out from the ship as it lined up near the dock. "Hurry!"  
  
Jack took me by the hand (again!) as we climbed aboard the Black Pearl, with Will tailing after us.  
  
"DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!"  
  
"This is the day that ye will all remember that Cap'n Jack Sparrow almost escaped." Jack said as he took over the steering wheel and sped away.  
  
***  
  
If you thought that Jack giving you that sexy smile of his was fab, I'm telling ya, the third chap is way cooler! ^_^ Watch out for it!  
  
***  
  
Was it fab or not? Tell me! R&R please. :) 


	3. Aboard the Black Pearl

Chapter Three  
  
"Miss Swann, are you all right?" Will wanted to know.   
  
We were now aboard the Black Pearl and Port Royal was fast clearing out from view.  
  
I badly wanted to tell everyone that I am not Elizabeth Swann and that this is all just a misunderstanding. So before anyone else could have their say, I announced, "Here's the thing, I'm just not who you think I am."  
  
Will gave me a puzzled look while Jack just snorted as if he had already heard of that line several times. I wouldn't be surprised if he had. After all, he was a pirate. "Who you be then, love?" Jack asked, his eyes not leaving his compass at hand.  
  
"Okay, I'm Elizabeth. But I'm definitely not Elizabeth Swann."  
  
"What do you mean you're not Elizabeth Swann?" Will asked, half-jokingly. "Of course you are! You know, the governor's daughter."  
  
"I may look like Elizabeth Swann but I'm definitely not her." I tried explaining. I didn't quite know how to break the news to them. Especially since Will got involved in all these just because he thought I was someone else. "I'm Elizabeth Parker."  
  
"Oh," Will said, disappointment lining his face.  
  
Jack didn't say anything but I thought I saw a glint in his eye.  
  
***  
  
"Where are we headed?" I asked Jack. It has almost been an hour and a half ever since we came aboard the Black Pearl and I at least wanted to know where we were headed. Will had gone down to the cabin along with the crew, feasting and drinking more rum, I suppose.  
  
"To Tortuga, it seems."  
  
And that was when I noticed that his compass didn't point north at all. "How are we ever going to find Tortuga with a compass that doesn't point north?"  
  
"But we're not trying to find north, are we?" He said, grinning.  
  
"Would ye mind getting me some rum from the cabin, love?" He added. "All this steering has worked me up fer a drink."  
  
"Yeah, sure." I said as I went down the cabin in search for some rum. "Anything for the captain."  
  
I found Will downing what seems to be his second bottle of rum, sitting on a tarnished stool next to Anamaria and another crew member. "Hey, can you tell me where the rum is kept? It's for Jack."  
  
Will didn't say anything and just kept on imbibing even more rum.  
  
"Fer the Cap'n, eh?" Anamaria said, pointing to a crate near Will. "Righ' there in tha' crate."  
  
I pried open the crate and sure enough, there had to be at least a dozen bottles of rum in it. I took out a bottle and was about to leave when Anamaria asked, "'Ey, ye be 'Lizabeth Swann? The gov'nor's daughter of Port Royal?"  
  
"Aye, no." I answered. "I'm Elizabeth Parker and I'm not the governor's daughter."  
  
"Ye look lot like the lot, though-"  
  
"But you fooled me," Will cut in, looking all inebriated now.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry." I said. "I mean, I tried telling you guys right from the start that I'm not the governor's daughter but you just won't listen."  
  
"Say what you want," Will said, propping his feet up on the crate. "But you and I, we're stuck in this ship, and there's nothing you can do about it."  
  
"I-"  
  
"Don't mind 'im, though." Anamaria said. "The chap's got no sense when 'is drunk."  
  
It was no use talking to Will especially when he's on high so I left the cabin and went up the deck.  
  
"Here's your rum," I told Jack, handing him the bottle.  
  
"Aye, rum." He said, taking a swig of the rum.  
  
"Uh, I was just wondering, but when do we reach Tortuga?"  
  
"See that piece 'a land o'er there? That's Tortuga." He said, pointing over the horizon. "With the current on 'a side, we're gonna reach Tortuga in no time."  
  
"Here," He added, handing over his compass. "Hold this fer me, will ye? I'm just gonna go check'n somethin' down the cabin."  
  
I took the compass and watched him leave.   
  
A while ago when he handed over his compass, I noticed the sexiness of his hand. Call me crazy but I think I'm infatuated with the Captain.  
  
***  
  
What kind of craziness has Tortuga got in store for the crew? You'll only find out when you watch out for the fourth chapter!   
  
So far, did you find it good, or did it suck? R&R please! 


	4. Stowaway!

Chapter Four  
  
***  
  
Tee, hee. This be a really cool chapter! I mean, what can be more fun than flirting with the Captain? :)  
  
***  
  
I leaned across the ship's railing and watched the view for a while: the rolling of the cirrus clouds amongst the cerulean skies, the spraying of seawater against the ship; it was all so serene and placid.  
  
"Enjoyin' the view, love?" Jack asked as he stood beside me. His soulful eyes pondered onto mine as he waited for my response.  
  
I took a whiff of the tangy sea breeze and said, "Yes, I am."  
  
Jack took a swig of his rum, squinting at the last few rays of the setting sun.  
  
"I was just wondering but haven't you finished with your rum, just yet?" I couldn't help asking.  
  
"Aye, no. Never could really," He replied, grinning. "Can't get enough of good 'ol rum, ye know."  
  
"Oh,"  
  
Jack took one last swig of his rum then offered me the bottle. "Ye want some?"  
  
"Yeah, sure." I answered as he handed over his half-empty bottle of rum. "Used to drink lots of this stuff back home, you know."  
  
I took a swig of the rum and instantly tasted its bold and distinct flavor. One thing's for sure. And that's this rum is way better than what I used to drink back home. "Where'd you get this stuff? It's really, really good."  
  
"Let's just say that it's because I drank from it?"  
  
"Yeah, right." I said, punching him playfully on the arm.  
  
"Ye know ye can't mess with the Cap'n, love." He said, a knowing look on his face.  
  
"Am I?" I asked in a tone as that of an ignorant little girl's.  
  
"Not quite,"  
  
"Then tell me," I insisted, the bottle of rum still at hand. "Or else I'll, I'll-"  
  
"Or else ye'll what?" He challenged as if he knew that I wouldn't be able to do anything anyway.  
  
"Or else I'll-" I paused and pretended to think. Jack's just so cute when he's like this.  
  
"See, ye can't poss' bly do anything."  
  
"Yeah, right. I'll-"  
  
Before I could say another word, the bottle slipped from my hand, splintering the bottle into shards onto the newly-scrubbed floorboard, not to mention rum spilling all over the place.  
  
Shit.  
  
"Omigod!" I exclaimed, feeling my face heat up. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. I-"  
  
Without even thinking, I stooped over on my knees and frantically began soaking up the mess I've made using the hem of my dress. "I'm really-"  
  
"Ye know ye didn't hafta do it, love." Jack said, helping me up on my feet. "'T's fine. We'll let someone else do it."  
  
"Why, look at look at what ye've done to that dress of yers!" He said half-jokingly. "'T's all soaked up!"  
  
I glanced at my dress and sure enough, it was soaked with spilled rum.   
  
"Did ye hurt yerself?"  
  
"Uh, no, really." I said, examining a cut that a shard had made on my hand. It was nothing, really. Just a little cut. "I'm fine."  
  
"Ye-"  
  
"Stowaway!" Anamaria cried out from the top deck before Jack could say another word. "There's a stowaway!"  
  
Jack and I, along with the other crewmembers rushed to the side of the deck to see what the commotion was all about. Sure enough, there was a man atop what seemed to be a makeshift raft.   
  
When it finally dawned on me on who this man was, I could've sworn my heart skipped a beat. I just couldn't believe it.  
  
***  
  
Who the heck is the stowaway??   
  
I'm not telling ya! ^_^ Ye'll only find out in the fifth chap so watch out for it! r&r please. 


End file.
